Friday, 11 February 2011

Oh yeah, they call me the recluse

Ok so not blogged in a fair few months!

Things have changed massively since August.

Immie went on to formula at 12 weeks, the BEST decision I ever made, she was like a different baby. I'm sure breast feeding is fab if it goes well, but we struggled and it was beginning to become an issue, only wished Id had the guts to tell the hospital to stuff it, would have made those first precious few months a lot easier!

At 16 weeks we started weaning, earlier than the recommended 6 mths but after the breast feeding debacle I decided to go with my own gut instinct. She hasn't looked back. She by and large loves her food, except for fish! (gets that from me!) Again this seemed to change her again, definitely much more contented.

We took our first holiday to Cyprus at the end of October. The biggest concern was the flight, but she loved it. She spent a happy 5 hrs sleeping, eating or waving at people on the plane LOL Whilst away she flirted with waiters (doesnt get that from me!), and played with grandma and grandad.  When we came home, again it was like she had done a bit more growing up. She started sleeping through. She now pretty much does 6.30pm till 7.30am. We might get the odd night where she wakes about 3am, but these are less frequent since we discovered that her vests that fit perfectly when you put her to bed, do not fit so well when she has done a wee and her nappy has expanded to 10 times its size, making her vest too tight!! She now wears bigger vests.

Christmas was lovely. Busy trying to see various people but Immie liked the attention and fuss. She loved the wrapping paper and received some lovely pressies.

And so we come to now.

- She's funny, waving, smiling , clapping at anyone and everything!
- She's very loving she loves Beans the cat, or Tat as she calls him! She gets a little over excited though and often gets a bit carried away patting him. Beans is very good though, he's not gone for her. Although he did bat her with his paw (claws in) the other day when she lent over, grabbed the area of fur right where his wangdoodle is! She got off lightly I feel! She loves to chase him round the room.
- She's cuddly, she now sidles over for cuddles, and when cuddling a stuffed animal she will grab them, put her mouth to them and say Ahhhhhhh
- She's does the stinkiest poos! Lentils are not funny. :-/

And this is where the dilemma starts. Having spent the first 3 mths or so of my mat leave struggling to adjust to being at home and being a mummy. We're now starting nursery settling sessions. Don't get me wrong, nursery will be great for Immie. She is so bright (I don't think Im being biased!) that she will love the constant stimulation and the nursery we have chosen is lovely! The staff are fab, the facilities are great. But now she is my little mate and I'd rather stay at home with her than return to work.

So this brings me to the title of the post. When I started maternity leave I had all these visions, of taking Immie to classes/groups, meeting new people, having lovely coffee mornings with other mummies where we would eat cake, carrot cake to be precise and of course losing my baby weight would not have been a problem and by now I'd be a glamourous size 12 or something. In reality what has happened is

- we've been to some classes. Rhythm time got cancelled, due to lack of interest. Baby yoga and baby massage were only short courses (and the baby yoga woman wasn't the best at dealing with a fatty like me who was struggling to adapt to being a mummy). Baby swimming has been ace, the instructors have been lovely and we have a really great time, but everyone tends to dash off at the end of a lesson. The other mummies are nice enough but we haven't bonded enough to start having cake.

- losing my baby weight, because I'm a bit lonely, Ive been eating and I mean eating. Having a csection meant it has taken me ages to start exercising too. So all the visions of having long lovely walks with the Immie in the pram, went out the window. By the time I felt able to do exercise (and confident enough to deal with Immie) we were in the depths of winter, with ridiculous amounts of snow. Im on with the weight loss now, and have been upping the exercise. But just as I get a routine with Immie, something happens like lurge or Christmas. It is a never ending battle. And there is something so depressing about other mummies who had their babies as good 7/8 mths after you boasting on facebook about how they are back in their pre-pregnancy jeans after 1 week. UGH!

- Not only have I not made the new mummy friends I was expecting but I appear to have shed quite a few old friends. Suddenly I'm not invited to things, or if I am invited it is as an afterthought, great! Jokes are shared between people on facebook which I'm no longer part of. As an experiment at Christmas I texted a fair few so called friends to wish them a merry Christmas. Some replied, but many didn't. So for new year I thought I'd let them text me first. Funnily enough I didn't receive texts from the majority of my so called friends.

I have no idea if I've been unintentionally forgotten about or whether it is more calculated. What I do know is it hurts. Especially with no family around to see regularly, you would think so called friends would be a little more understanding. But maybe I expect too much of people.

I have 4 really good friends, who I know I can call on, who still include me etc Clearly its all about quality not quantity.

So I've now become a bit of a recluse. The lyrics to the Plan B song, The recluse, ring true, more so than I would like.

Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change Immie for the world, but with hindsight I might change some of my friends!

So that was a longer post than it should have been, good to get it out though!

Mama xx

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