Monday, 28 March 2011

This time last year

This time last year I was 36 weeks pregnant. I was about to embark on my last week at school before the Easter Holidays started and therefore my maternity leave. A whole year off spanned out in front of me. I was knackered but excited, excited for a year off, excited for a year of not marking coursework but most of all excited for the imminent arrival, this time last year I had no idea if I was having a boy or girl, although my gut feeling was a girl. The nursery was ready, my hospital bag was packed (just incase I went in to early labour!) and I was spending much of my time sat on a gym ball as my back and hips were aching beyond belief.

So here we are a year later and Ive still got back ache and the occassional hip pain, I'm definitely knackered. But I'm having to psyche myself up to going back to work after the Easter hols, excitement has been replaced with feeling daunted and fearful. Instead of a hospital bag, I now have a changing bag, packed and ready to go if we go out.

But the biggest difference is Immie. The little person who frustrates me beyond belief sometimes, who cracks me up regularly, who gives me kisses and cuddles, whose every little development surprises me on a daily basis.

Ive mentioned elsewhere that I struggled to adjust to being away from work and being a mummy but the last 6 mths have been fab and are making the thought of going back to being Helen Stokes, Subject Leader and Teacher very difficult to get my head round. To say I'm torn is an understatement. But I'm sure I'll be fine when I get back in to it, but for now, its time to enjoy my last 4 weeks off!

Mama x

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