And so it comes to an end

Today has officially been the last day of my maternity leave. As of tomorrow I am a paid employee once again. Technically I am not in work tomorrow though as it is the Easter holidays but I have so much planning and prep to do that I will be working.

Tomorrow Immie starts nursery full time. 7.15am - 5.15 pm. She normally has her tea at 5ish, so by the time we get home (5.30ish) she'll be wanting tea, bath, bed. This makes me sad. For 5 days a week I will hardly see her. Life is about to become very different. I am used to seeing her all day most days. Sure she has been going to nursery 2 days a week for about 2 months now but she always finished at 3.15, giving us a good hour and a half to play together before tea.

I knew this day would come eventually, my return to work date was set down by my employers about a year ago. I just didn't anticipate it would come this quick. There were times in the first 5 months I felt it couldn't come soon enough, but I have settled in to being a mummy. I certainly don't feel ready to return to the daily grind.

A lot of mummys worry about sending their child to nursery/childminder, I'm not worried about Immie going to nursery. She loves going and the staff are fab. But I do worry if I'm doing the right thing by going back full time for myself. Work used to be my priority and now it very much isn't and Im not sure how I feel about that. Will I be able to cope and stay on top of everything I need to do, to be the teacher I want to be?

I guess the positives are I get lots of holidays (yes I'll need to work some days but I can work shorter hours, part time if you like.) Also I can in theory finish at 3pm most days, I could be at nursery by about 3.20pm. However, I am conscious that I want weekends to be work free, Immie days. So in order to do that I will probably work till 5, pick her up then work some more when she is in bed so that I am able to do that. Before Immie, I would have worked most evenings and at least 1 day at weekends, this now has to change. It is going to be a different way of working.

So it has been a long year, exhausting, at times frustrating and upsetting. But it has mainly been enjoyable, fun and lovely. I'm still holding out for a lotto win in the next two weeks though!!!!

Mama x